How to Support a Loved One with a Mental Illness: Finding the Right Balance
Mental illness can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. When a loved one is struggling with a mental health condition, it’s natural to want to help and support them. However, it’s essential to navigate the fine line between support and enabling. In this blog post, we’ll explore how to support a loved one with a mental illness while avoiding common pitfalls.
Understanding Mental Illness
Before we dive into how to support a loved one, it’s crucial to understand mental illness itself. Mental illness is a health condition that affects a person’s thinking, feeling, behavior or mood. Mental health conditions are not a sign of weakness, and they are not something that someone can simply “snap out of.” Mental illnesses are serious conditions that require professional treatment and support. While symptoms of serious mental illness vary, these are some common signs to look out for:
Social withdrawal
Changes in sleeping, eating, and hygiene habits
Alcohol or drug abuse
Difficulty functioning with memory and thinking
Extreme mood changes
How Involved Should You Be?
So, how involved should you be in helping your loved one battle a mental illness? The answer is: it depends. Determining the appropriate level of involvement when helping someone with a mental illness can be complex and depends on various factors, including the severity of their condition, their personal preferences, and your own capacity to support. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:
Educate yourself: Learn about the mental illness, its symptoms, and treatment options. Understanding the condition helps you provide the right kind of support and assistance.
Encourage professional help: While your support is valuable, it’s essential to recognize that you’re not a trained mental health professional. Encourage your loved one to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling. Offer to assist them in finding a suitable mental health provider and accompany them to appointments if they desire.
Offer emotional support: Let your loved one know that you’re there for them, and that you care about their well-being. Listen actively, validate their feelings, and offer reassurance without judgment.
Help with daily tasks: Offer to help with daily tasks such as grocery shopping, cooking, or cleaning. These gestures can help alleviate some of the stress they may be experiencing.
Be patient and understanding: Living with a mental illness can be challenging, so be patient and understanding when your loved one is struggling.
Avoid Enabling Behaviors
Enabling refers to behaviors or actions that inadvertently support or perpetuate a loved one's harmful or unhealthy coping mechanisms, habits, or behaviors related to their mental health condition, rather than encouraging and supporting their recovery and growth. While it’s natural to want to help your loved one, it’s essential to avoid enabling behaviors that can hinder their recovery. Here are some common enabling behaviors to watch out for:
Making excuses: Avoid making excuses for your loved one’s behavior, such as calling in sick for them or covering up for their mistakes.
Constantly rescuing: Avoid constantly rescuing your loved one from difficult situations, such as paying their bills or fixing their problems.
Enabling substance use: Avoid enabling substance abuse by providing alcohol or drugs, or by ignoring the problem.
You feel responsible for their happiness: You feel like it’s your job to make your loved one happy, and you go out of your way to do so.
Ensure Supportive Behaviors
To avoid enabling and promote supportive behaviors, try the following:
Encourage your loved one to take ownership of their recovery and decisions.
Set clear boundaries and maintain them consistently.
Support their efforts to develop self-care habits and independence.
Avoid fixing problems or providing solutions; instead, offer guidance and resources.
Prioritize your own self-care and seek support if needed.
By recognizing the signs of enabling and adopting supportive behaviors, you can empower your loved one to take control of their recovery and foster a healthier, more supportive relationship.
By understanding mental illness, being involved in the right way, avoiding enabling behaviors, and setting healthy boundaries, you can help your loved one recover and thrive. Remember, supporting a loved one with a mental illness is a marathon, not a sprint– be patient, understanding, and supportive, and always prioritize your own well-being, too. If you’re struggling to support a loved one with a mental illness, Uplift is here to help! Book an appointment with one of our clinicians today and discover the best way to empower your loved one towards recovery and well-being.
